OK, so I know many of my work friends need a pick me up and any walking upright God knows that I need a good laugh right now too. So for those of you that don’t know me in real life my husband and I made a spur of the moment decision to put our house on the market. ARRRGGGHHH! If I added up all the sleep I have had in the past week since we listed it I think I would come in at a whopping 47 minutes. Not each night. ALL. WEEK. COMBINED. I am sure I will have a blog or two about that coming down the line, you know things like one of my kids clogging up the toilet 20 minutes before a showing…that kind of stuff. But back to today’s post. This is something that happened to me about a month ago. As ridiculous as this sounds it is all true. Here goes;
So I was a flip phone hold out. It was a simple phone for a simple girl. My flip phone finally shit the bed and I needed to get a new phone. Chuck got me a smart phone and I have to say, not really a fan of it. I think it causes far too many problems for me than it is worth. So one day about a month ago I was sitting in my kitchen writing my blog about our Disney Trip. I was all alone in the kitchen and my cell phone was on the counter charging. It had been there all day. It rings. I stumble around with it trying to figure out how to answer it. Finally get it and say “Hello”. “Who is this” someone asks. I answer, “Erin, who is this?” “You know who this is, you called me bitch” is the lovely response I get back. “Umm, no my phone rang, I answered it so I think that means you called me”. “Listen you little bitch” is all I let her get out. I told her, “you are not going to call me and start yelling at me, goodbye” and I hung up. Put the phone back down and went back to writing my blog. Not 2 minutes later does the phone ring again. I tapped the ignore button and didn’t give it a second thought. My phone beeped like I got a text message. The following is the texting conversation I had with this girl. I am going to type it as is, typos, grammatical mistakes and all. Enjoy:
She sent me a text of a screen shot of her incoming calls that clearly shows my phone number as an incoming call. It was accompanied by the following message;
Her: “You got something to say bitch say it! I can only gas this is one dickies little bitches…WOMAN THE FUCK UP! YOU CALLED ME BITCH. WEAK ASS LOOK AT THE SCREEN SHOT BITCH. PATHETIC AND YES IVE BEEN FUCKING HIM!!!! “ (OK, so I think in a text all caps means she is yelling at me and with 4 exclamation points I think she means business)
Me: “Ok. I have no idea who you or dickie are. I have not used my phone all day. I am a suburban housewife with 3 small kids. I don’t have time to call someone else’s guy. Though you texting me has brought some excitement to my day. Oh and good for you from getting some from Dickie. You do you girl!”
Her: R u dumb? Did I just magically create a screenshot with your number saying incoming call with the date and time??? You’re a fuckin liar grow up. If u didn’t use uour phone to call me then someone else did. LOOK AT IT” (Ok, she is yelling at me again. I am many things but I am not a liar, how dare she?)
Me: Ok, for the 3rd time I didn’t call you. Not sure why my number is on your phone. I get calls from (town I don’t want to disclose) on this phone all the time. I have no idea who they are from. Not that I care but you seem pretty insecure in your relationship. Maybe it is time to find someone else. Again, I don’t know anyone from (town I don’t want to disclose) or anyone named dickie but I do appreciate the drama this afternoon, it has been a nice break from CNN”S coverage of the health care debate.
Her: So mature. Pretty sure how phones work lol a person calls its in your log. I sent it to in BLACK AND WHITE. So grow the fuck up. (again with the all caps and with the level of her anger I don’t for one second she was doing any laughing out loud)
Me: I am grown up. I am 44, though I do wish I was younger. Life is going by way to fast. Feel free to call the phone company and ask them how it could happen. It was not me. Don’t take it out on dickie though when he tells you he isn’t banging a middle aged, overweight mom from central MA. In this case he is telling the truth. Shame though he sounds like a hell of a guy. Seriously though, find someone better for yourself. You have too much passion to waste on someone you don’t trust. Again, thanks for making my afternoon exciting but I have to go get dinner ready for my 2.5 kids and our dog.
Her: I apologize. Just seems way to convienieny with what is going on in my life. 2nd girl to say I never called u when clearly your phone called me or I wouldn’t have your number or that screen shot. (I do think convienieny means convenient, I do like the ring of convienieny though)
Me: Not sure how it happened, if I called I would have admitted it. I am truly sorry you have a lot going on in your life. I was serious when I said you should find someone better. No guy is worth getting so worked up over. Find someone who appreciates you and that you can trust. You shouldn’t have to second guess every number that comes up. You are better than that.
Her: Thanks. I don’t kniw how the hell that happened. I apologize again
Me: Ok so this whole thing got me curious so I googled if someone can make calls from someone else’s phone number and apparently there are apps you can use for something called phone spoofing. Here is a screen shot of what I found
Me: I sent her a screen shot, something I learned how to do while going back and forth with her, about phone spoofing. I guess there is an app people can use to make calls from their phone but it shows up as someone else’s phone.
Her: Wtfff omg! I can’t believe that’s even possible. So not right. But you and I both saw the screenshot with the date time and your number. I can’t believe that’s legal. I am SOOOOO SORRY AGAIN! Never thought for a second anyone could or would do that. Seems like a lot of effort especially to call and say nothing. I live in the (geographical region I don’t want to disclose) in (town I don’t want to disclose) if you were closer I would love to buy you a drink lol I’m a mother as well. I have a (#) yr old daughter. I’m so embarrassed. Happened at an extremely toxic moment and I jumped to conclusions. But thanks for sharing that info (again with the all caps yelling but at least this time she was apologizing)
Me: No worries! We have all been there! Life is tough enough, us ladies need to stick together and not bring each other down. I did live in (town I don’t want to disclose) briefly about 8 years ago so the number might be from when I was living up there. I don’t blame you for jumping to conclusions, I would have done the same (no, I wouldn’t have but I didn’t know what else to say)
Her: Thanks for being grown and an understanding compassionate woman about it! God knows u didn’t have to. And I don’t know if I would have addressed it with the class and maturity that you did if u do come back to the (geographical region I don’t want to disclose) I would b estatic if you let me buy u a drink or coffee. My name is (blank). For a stranger you really have affected and enlightened me in such a positive way and for that I thank you. (Ok, if she really read some of my comments I don’t think I was being that mature…)
Me: You are welcome. Nice to meet you (blank). I’m Erin. I do hope you keep in touch and I hope everything works out the way it is supposed to for you.
OK, for the record I have NO intention of meeting up with her. 1. I don’t want to get beat up and 2. Yeah, I don’t want to get beat up. Now this did have a happy ending but, if you have been following my blog at all or know me in real life you know that deep down inside I wanted to call her back and say, “yeah, just shitting ya, it’s me Erin, is Dickie there?”