Tuesday, June 9, 2015

The 30 inch Terrorist

It is next to impossible to turn on the TV and not hear anything about terrorism these days.  It is seemingly everywhere; several workers at the TSA are thought to have ties to terrorism, rouge terrorists tried to take out security guards at a controversial art exhibit down south, just last week a lot closer to home, a suspected terrorist was hanging around outside of a CVS...but for me it is much, much closer to home...I believe I may be living with a 30 inch terrorist...

I know in the past I may have mentioned I believe Emily has declared a fatwa on us and that she may or may not have forged a jihad against us.  Emily is forever getting into mischief, always blaming her older sisters for her misdeeds and always looks like the cat that swallowed the canary when you enter the room.  Well my friends, lately the evidence has become too compelling to ignore.

Though she is only 20 months old she is a smart little bugga.  Against my wishes she spends far too much time using the ipad.  She is kind of a wiz on it, I say that not to brag-- as I find it embarrassing that she spends so much time on it when the Academy of Pediatrics clearly states "no screen time under 2 years of age"...I will be returning my Child Development Degree to Wheelock...I no longer deserve it, but more to prove my point that she may be a terrorist in the making.  Somehow she found this cartoon she loves.  It is 2 young boys that look to be of Middle Eastern descent.  No problem with that...I want my children to be open to other cultures.  I can't understand most of what they say.  Again, no problem with that, however, at the start of their show they do say one word that I can make out...they say in unison, "Infidels", at least that is what I think they say...Sara and Anna think it is something more along the lines of, "kick the bells".  Just take that little nugget and sit with it a minute while I describe more...

Yesterday I caught her watching a Youtube video of the Philippine National Army practicing drills.  How the hell did she find that video?  Also, she is quite the little expert when it comes to climbing on the backyard jungle gym...I have seen the Al Qaeda training videos...there are ALWAYS monkey bars involved!!   Oh, I just remembered while she was "playing" on the play-gym she slammed into me nearly breaking my nose...coincidence?  Maybe...or she may just be perfecting her Krav maga skills.  My sweet, darling Anderson Cooper has been reporting lately that ISIS has been recruiting young people, targeting women especially,  through the use of social media...she may just be the youngest member indoctrinated so far.

Speaking of ISIS, the other day she walks into the TV room talking to herself.  She spots me and yells, "ISIS, ISIS, ISIS!"  Could she have been talking about my glass full of ice?  Possibly.  But I am still going to sleep with one eye open as I can not definitively prove otherwise. 

Recently my blog has been viewed from Indonesia, Palestine, Iran and Iraq.  I am grateful for all page views regardless of their origin, but again, is it a coincidence that since Emily has been fiddling around with the computer my page views have jumped in places that are considered "hot beds" of terrorist activity? There are a few too many "coincidences" to ignore.  To quote Ian Fleming;

“Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action"

 And there you have it my friends...apparently I am the mother of a mini terrorist.