Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Life lessons my children have yet to learn...

1.  If you write on something other than paper (the wall, the dresser, a chair, etc.) do not use your go-to drawing.  I know which child is famous for their butterflies, which one is known for their stars and which one just scribbles.  Mix it up a bit...extend your freedom by a few extra minutes while I try and figure out who the graffiti artist is.

2.  Dry shampoo is just a stop-gap measure until you can properly wash your hair.  It is not intended for daily use.

3.  For Emily, my cleavage is not a pocket.  Please stop trying to store things there.

4.  An animal print top with an animal print pant and animal print backpack, headband and shoes is not a good look.  For anyone.  Ever.

5.  Flush the toilet.  Your poop is not that special you need to save it. 

6.  Hounding me after I already give you "no" as an answer will not get me to change my mind.  Ever.  It will just make me more resolute in my answer.  (Your dad, however, will most likely give in so go bug him instead).

7.  If you are going to sneak candy before lunch-- hide the wrappers.  Learn to bury them in the trash or better yet put them in the recycling bin.  Leaving them out gives you away.  Wait, scratch that...don't put them in the recycling bin....that is where I put 75% of the worksheets you come home from school with.

8.  Every single paper you put a chicken scratch on does not need to be saved for infinity.  I save the important ones, but please don't go nuts if you see a 'busy work' paper in the trash.

I am sure there are many, many more life lessons they need to grasp...but, for now we will focus on these ones.

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