Monday, December 10, 2012

This is the WORST time of the year....and other mutterings heard lately

So the other night Sara declares that it is the worst time of the year.  I was asking why?   I honestly had no idea what she was getting at.  Chuck had her pegged instantly!  He says, "oh is it because you have to be good EVERY day until Christmas?"...yeah she says.   I guess that is just WAY to much for her to commit to.  Here are some other gems from the past few days...

*  Sara is really into rhyming lately.  She makes up little rhymes day and night.  The other day in the car she is really into it.  She was singing some song  she was making up as she went along.   Somehow the word "poor" comes up in her little diddy.  She then came up with poor, sore.  She continued to work out other words that rhymed with poor and sore and this is what she came up with "a poor, sore whore"...she went on and on singing this in all sorts of voices...low, high-pitched, ballad-like and even country and pop versions.  I literally had to bit my lip!!  It was flippin HYSTERICAL!!!

*  We are in the bathroom and I was cleaning a poop accident.  Though I really should not technically call it an accident since Anna knew full well what she was doing as she popped a squat in the corner....but back to the story...I was grumbling about how I really don't like changing poopy pants and Anna says I should like it...her "poop smells like a rainbow."  I am going to categorically disagree with her on that one.

*  Anna and the truth really are not friends.  Lately she lies...About anything...All the time...To our faces.  She had light pink pants on the other day.  She walks away and I notice the butt is bright pink.  Irrefutable evidence of having peed her pants.  I asked her if she peed.  She looked me right in the eye and said No.  I asked her if she were sure she didn't pee herself.  She says no and asks me if I want to feel her undies.  Sure enough, my eyes had not deceived me.  They were wet. I told her that I know she just told me a lie.  I asked her why she lied to me...she walked away shrugging and rolling her eyes.  She has no conscience.  Isn't that one of the criteria on the sociopath check list?  Just thinking out loud here but maybe I should consider locking the cats up....

*  Sara has been poking herself in the eye for about 2 years.  Every day.  Multiple times.  Lately she has also complained of her eyes hurting and watering.  I do the responsible thing and take her to the eye doctor.  5 of her 7 cousins have glasses and got them when they were young.  We talked to her about maybe having to get glasses.  Turns out her eyes are fine.  WHEW!!  Or at least you would think it was a relief.  NOPE!!  Sara was crying the whole way home because she can't get glasses...yelling at me "you never let me get anything I want." it is my fault she has good eyesight.  I guess I am a sh*tty mom for passing down good ocular genes.  A few days later she took her birthday money and bought herself some fashion glasses from Clares.

"It is OK if I pee on my raincoat.  Pee is kind of like rain..."  UMMM, no not really.  Name withheld to protect the innocent.

And last but not least...a knock knock joke from Anna....

Anna:  Mommy, Knock, Knock!

Me:  Who's there?

Anna:  I love you!!!

OK...she just bought herself a few more days....

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