Monday, January 14, 2013

Mining for gems

Here are a few gems heard and seen around our house this past week...

*  Sara is back into her rhyming.  She rhymes everything including people's names.  My husband's name is Chuck.  That rhymes with several things.  I will let you sit with that for a moment............................OK then....

*  Last night I was getting CLEAN pajamas out of the drawer.  I took said CLEAN jammies and laid them on the couch.  That is when I felt something sticky on my finger.  I looked and it was a HUGE booger.  For the record my hand/fingers were no where near my nose all day.  Someone really went out of their way to hide the evidence.   Hmmm, here is a thought; it would have been much more convenient and quicker to just get a tissue.  I guess that is what I get for encouraging my kids to be creative in their problem solving.

* At the lunch table the other day Sara said Anna smelled bad.  She then announced that Anna made her smell her butt.  I would have paid money to hear how that conversation went down.  Just thinking out loud hear.... can anyone really make you do something you don't want to?

* The girls were outside at my in-laws.  They had a giant pumpkin outside.  It was really soft and squishy...the kids were having a blast playing with it.  I guess at one point Sara told Chuck that it reminded her of my belly.  Man, was he chomping at the bit when I got home...I think it gave him great pleasure to relay that story to me.  Sara told me too, but she added that although she likes playing with my squishy belly the pumpkin was better because you could poke holes in it with a stick.  Not sure if I should be happy or sad that I was beat out by a pumpkin on the fun scale.

*  Chuck recently got an ipod touch.  Anna loves playing with it.  The other day she was taking pictures with it.  She found some feature that has a little cartoon character guy on the screen and you take a picture of him with a real background.  She was scrolling through  pictures she had taken, describing them to me, "look there is the guy on our couch"..."he is in the toy bin"..."he is on our table"..."look mom, here is a picture of the guy on my vagina".  She took a picture of her crotch and the little cartoon guy was just hanging out there smiling.  Thankfully she had her pants on, but it took all my might to not burst out laughing.  Not sure what I should be reading between the lines she on track to be an amazing photographer or a porn star?  I will, again, let you just sit with that for a moment.

*  I was in my room and overheard this exchange...Chuck found a little piece of hardened poop in Anna's bathroom (also known as the space next to the couch in our living room).  He asked if anyone knew about it.  One of them very quickly threw Ms. Amerigold (our guinea pig) under the bus.  Chuck did not believe them.  And here is why...follow me for a minute...  A wine expert is a "sommelier", a cheese expert, and yes they exist...I found that out at the super shi-shi restaurant we went to for my birthday, is called an "affineur", you're welcome.  Well, apparently Chuck is a "crapineur " because he said, "that is not what her poop smells like, her poop smells different".  For some reason, and I am not entirely sure I want to know why, he can distinguish the distinct subtleties  of our household poop aromas.

And there you have it...our week in words.

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