Thursday, May 30, 2013

Why is it......?

*  Why is it neither one of my children flush the toilet after "taking care of business"?...Before they learned how to use the potty they would flush and flush and flush they go and leave it in there for all the world to see, as if their excrement were the missing world I know Anna gets excited for some of her poops, but come on!  They are not on par with Niagara Falls, the Pyramids or the Grand Canyon.  Flush your Sh*t ladies!!

*  Why is it the only discernible talent my 13 year old cat Gracie has is the ability to tell time?  EVERY morning at exactly 4 a.m. (give or take no more than 1 minute on either side of 4) she wakes me up to eat.  EVERY flippin morning!!

*  Why is it my children can get their wrappers, empty juice boxes and other trash to the counter above the trash, but somehow are incapable of opening the drawer immediately underneath said counter  and actually PUT IT IN THE TRASH?

*  Why is it that I am apparently the only person in our family capable of actually closing a dresser drawer? Perhaps my 3 other house mates may be practicing so they can start a crime ring.  I constantly walk through the house closing dresser drawers with clothes hanging out of them.  It always looks like our house was just hit by robbers...I think they stage "dry runs" when I am not looking.

*  Why is it when we are out and about Anna decides she needs to pee at the most inopportune times?  I am forever asking her if she needs to go and she always reassures me she does not, but as soon as we pass an exit she announces she has to pee and of course the next exit is 12 miles away.

*  Why is it that every morning as soon as I start to doze off from my 4 a.m. cat wake up call Anna crawls into my bed asking for a waffle?

*  Why is it that my children ignore, never ask for or play with a specific old toy for months but the day I throw it away they start looking for it, crying and carrying on that it was their favorite toy?

*  Why is it my kids are singing a song about how awesome daddy is for setting up their inflatable pool, yet I am the one sitting outside sweating my pregnant ass off while he is in the nice air-conditioning at work?

As I have previously covered in my blog, I am not a fan of the sun or the heat and I whole-heartedly believe I will meet my demise as a victim of spontaneous human combustion...this is going to be a long, hot summer for this pregnant lady....I am sure even LONGER for poor Chuck!!  I apologize in advance for what I can only imagine is going to be several months of cranky blog rants.  Consider yourself warned!!!

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