Monday, September 17, 2012

Payback is a...sporty smelling men's deoderant

Sorry for the long delay in a new post.  I have been busy with everything and nothing.  Anyway I have been pretty sleep deprived new reason, just more of the waking up to pee, skunks spraying at 3 a.m., cats that are out to ruin my life and just general insomnia.  So I have been cranky.  I know you are all thinking, not Erin!  She is so easy going....I can hear Chuck laughing at work right now.  But, yes my friends it is true...I have been less than pleasant lately.  If you don't believe me just as the poor schleps that work at the phone company...they have been experiencing my wrath daily for a week now.  There are a couple of examples that really stand out, I am sure my betrothed can site many more examples but I will share two.

Example #1.  I am a mother.  Therefore, I have nothing nice anymore and nothing that is my own.  I never buy anything for myself, everything is for the girls.  I actually bought some new eye shadow lately.  Nothing crazy, nothing expensive.  Just $8 age defying eye shadow that was specifically for "tired eyes".  I went for it.  I had to look good for Madonna.  When I got home I got all my old make-up together and gave it to the girls.  They have their own kid stuff but they really think it is a treat to use mine.  They were in their glory and quite frankly looking like two circus clowns.  I had the new shadow for less than 24 hours when I went to get ready for the first PTA meeting of the new school year.  I had dinner with the fam, took a shower, got dressed, dried my hair and even put it in velcro rollers.  I was going to make a good impression this year.  I grabbed my new eye shadow to put on the finishing touches.  I opened it up and found it shattered!!  SHATTERED!!  I was overcome with such rage.  I yanked out the rollers and threw them in their box, was yelling and carrying on about how I have nothing that is sacred.  Thank God it was still hot out and the air conditioners were on and the windows were closed, if not the neighbors would have certainly called McClean's looking to see if they had a bed for me.  For those of you not from around here McLean's is the local psychiatric hospital.  Chuck was mumbling something about a mental patient.  Yes, I was talking to myself and yes, I way over reacted to a small infraction by a 2 and 4 year old but I was so mad.  So mad in fact that I did not go to the PTA meeting that night.  I was afraid that I could not complete a sentence with including an f-bomb.  Not the impression I was hoping to make...The next day I did go out and buy ALL new makeup and I hid it so the girls don't even get a glimpse of it the theory being that what they don't know about they can't ruin.

Example #2.  This past Thursday I had a busy day.  Nothing out of the ordinary, brought Sara too and from school, cleaned the house, made breakfast, lunch and dinner, waited for the phone guy and played with the kids.  Just a typical weekday.  Well, since it was Thursday it was grocery shopping night.  My plan was to go as soon as Chuck got home.  He got home and made some comment, nothing terrible and if I had at least one good night's sleep in the past 5 years I probably would have let it roll off my shoulders.  BUT, since the previous night I only slept from 4:30 a.m. until 5:11 a.m. I was not in a forgiving mood.  I said that's it.  I am not going shopping, I am going in my room and I am done for the night.  So I made myself a pizza, grabbed a soda and off I went to sulk.  Well, the grocery shopping was never done that night.  To prove some ridiculous point I told Chuck if he wanted the shopping done he would need to do it himself.  Little did I know this tantrum would come back to bite me.  He did do the shopping after work on Friday.  He came home with 2 minutes to spare before I had to leave for work.  But one very important thing was on the grocery list.  MY deodorant.  So in the course of getting ready I realized that I had forgotten that one important detail.  I scrambled but there was nothing left in mine.  I had to go to work, I can't go smelly (it is a fragrance free environment and any of you that know me in the real world know that if it is over 55 degrees out I sweat, not perspire, not glow, but SWEAT!!  I would stink and that is probably, technically breaking the fragrance free rule).  There was no way I could go without or try to substitute with powder...I had to bite the bullet and use Chuck's sporty smelling deodorant.  So now, not only was I still pissed over the original "non" incident but for the next 5 hours at work all I could smell was Chuck's Speed Stick in Irish Spring scent. 

Lessons leaned; Give up on the dream of having anything nice as long as my children are still preschoolers and NEVER try to prove a point when personal hygiene items are on the line.

* This blog was brought to you by Mennen...

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