Thursday, October 11, 2012

A tisket, a tasket...I went shopping at the Basket

Trust me, the trip did not disappoint!  If you have been following my blog you know  I have a love/hate relationship with Market Basket.  I love it because of the low prices, great produce and decent vegetarian selection.  I hate it because, well, it is Market Basket.  They leave pallets in the middle of the aisles, the baggers have an odd sense of what products should be matched up in the bags and the clientele is in a word; interesting.  If you are not from this area you may not understand the intricacies of the Basket.  For a better understanding check out "The People of Market Basket" facebook page.  It will help get you in the mindset I need to channel every Thursday morning.  

In addition to my weekly trip into the abyss it was an all around craptastic day.  I woke up late, sweating my a$$ off.  I look to my left and there is Anna sound asleep.  I look to my right and there is Sara.  I have two built in human wonder my body temp is raised 10 degrees.  We get ready and head out to drop Sara off at preschool.  We make it before the doors open...with time to spare if you can imagine that!  It is a chilly morning so Anna and I make a mad dash for the minivan.  I get her all buckled up, pull out of the parking lot and reach for my nice, warm pumpkin coffee.  I didn't find it.  To my horror it had tipped over and spilled out all over the minivan's rug!  So no coffee and now my van smells like sour pumpkin.  YUM!!  I move on and decide to not let that ruin my day.  Little did I know there would be plenty of other things to come that would trump the great coffee debacle...

We go shopping, speed through so we would have time to get the shopping done, get home, unpack it all and pick Sara up on time.  MB is about 12 miles away.  Not too far, but you have to time it out like a Team Seal 6 operation.  If I were EVER 10 seconds late picking Sara up she would NEVER let me forget it.

We are in the produce section and Anna notices a small hole in my jeans...right next to my back pocket.  She puts her finger in it announcing loudly that I have a hole in my pants and yanks on it turning the tiny hole into a 3 inch rip on my ass.  Thanks Anna!  I can always count on her to embarrass me one way or another while at the Basket.

So, like I said, we got the shopping done in record time, and it was a LONG list this week.  I find an empty check-out line.  Score!  I load up the belt, the lady scanning is pretty quick.  Great!  We will be out of here in no time.   But wait, the groceries are backing up.  What the heck is happening?  Turns out the bagger may or may not have been under the influence of an illicit substance.  He would take every flippin item hold it up, turn it around checking it out from every possible angle before putting it in the bag.  It was as if he were on drugs and the shiny labels were distracting.  If you are a MB shopper what is up with their bagging techniques?  They pile 10 glass jars in one bag, 4 small cat food cans in another, 3 half gallons of milk with dryer sheets in a 3rd and the tiny, sacred, plastic spray bottle of butter gets a bag all to itself.  I have never been a grocery bagger so there must be some science to it, but I do not understand their logic at all.  But I digress...

So Anna and I head out and just as we cross the threshold of the automatic exit door my precariously piled pyramid of bags comes crashing down.  So there I am holding up the exit door chasing after the cat food cans, trying to keep Anna from wandering away all the while trying to keep some shred of dignity as people are complaining about the hold up.

After getting our sh*t together we head over to the Merry Go Round (Anna's reward for good behavior) she is thrilled there is not an "Out of Order" sign on it.  Typically there is.  She gets on the green horse and gears up.  I put the quarters in and you guessed it...NOTHING!!!  Once again it is broken.  Poor bugger is broken hearted.  She sadly rides the single horse...

On the way home we are stuck behind someone going 20 miles an hour for 11 miles!!!  It is a long 11 miles on the back country road...Thanks to the tripping bagger and the blue haired couple out leaf peeping I am now 20 minutes behind schedule.

I get home and load both arms up with the bags and climb the million stairs up to the front door.  We have a screen door that opens into our screened porch before we get to the actual front door.  It sticks sometimes so I bang it open with my knee.  I fall face forward on top of all the bags.  Anna grumbles..."what is taking you so long" as she steps over me and the groceries.  So compassionate.

I drop those off and head down for the rest of the bags.  I load both arms up again.  I refuse to make more than 2 trips.  I start the long trek up the stairs.  My foot gets caught and I fall face forward again!!  I sh*t you not.  I am laying flat out on the stairs with yogurts rolling by my face.  I jump up as fast as I can because my face is very close to where I have seen a snake in the past.  That would be the icing on the cake.  A snake slithering over my head...

I have just enough time to put the fridge and freezer items away before preschool gets out.  The girls and I then went to a playdate.  Which was the highlight of my day...thanks Danielle and Dawn!!  I finally got the last of the groceries put away at 3:30 this afternoon.

Oh, here is a joke my sweet little 2 year old told me today...

Anna: "knock, knock"

Me:  "who's there?"

Anna:  "how did the mommy poop on the baby?"

Me:  "I don't know.  How did the mommy poop on the baby?"

Anna:  "From her butt hole"

And how was your day?


  1. I dare you to put that joke in Sara's snack next week, lol!


    1. Oh Renee I wish I could! I am running low on jokes and it is only October!!