Friday, April 20, 2012

Call the U. N. ...we have some Human Rights violations over here

I am on strike.  I have been since about 5:30 last night.  No one here seems to notice or care.  I am considering contacting the United Nations due to the egregious Human Rights Violations that are occurring within these four walls.  

For my 21st birthday I went to Geneva, Switzerland (by myself!!)...not for a booze fest but to visit the United Nations...not sure if many of you know this, but...I am a huge geek.    I had this dream of working for UNICEF writing global child welfare policy.  I was going to travel the globe and save the world's children.  Somewhere along the line I got sidetracked and now I am writing weekly behavioral charts to hang on the kitchen wall.  Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change my life or how it turned out I have a great husband and two wonderful little girls.  There are a few things, however, that I might tweak a bit...

Back to my 21st birthday in Switzerland.  I got this great children's book about the Declaration of Human Rights.  It now sits on the girl's bookshelf and Sara occasionally picks it for story time.  I am going to refer to that Declaration in defense of my current strike.  Which started when several members of our household were joking about how I am the worst mommy ever.  I have fed my children breakfast (because the state mandates I do so) and I have stripped MY bed of the pee soaked sheets because leaving them on is just plain gross  (I did not pee in of the kids ended up in my bed and of course peed).  Other than the bare necessities the "fairy" is not coming today.  I am not refilling the soap, changing the toilet can sit on the side of the tub, I am not grocery shopping, I am not playing, I am not doing dishes, vacuuming...etc, etc...Which will come back to bite me is the ass, because I will end up doing all of this when my strike is over anyway.

According to the Declaration these are my Human Rights that have been violated:

Article 4:   No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms. one can be anyone else's slave?  Sara and Anna certainly did not get that memo.  They truly believe that I am here to cater to their every whim.  Little do they know I am here voluntarily and if I am not mistaken April is National Volunteer month and instead of taking me for granted they should be showering me with appreciation and gratitude...need to work on that one.

Article 5:  No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.  No one is to be hurt?  I recall getting a trash can kicked at my knee a few days ago...and last night one of the girls ended up in my bed and peed!  To me that constitutes cruel and unusual  punishment.  Another argument to present to the tribunal.

Article 12:   No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.       I have the right to privacy?!!  Really??  Then why do my kids constantly walk in on me when I am in the bathroom or shower?  They come after me like a heat seeking missile when I pick up the again, my right to free correspondence is being violated on a daily basis.

Article 17:  (1) Everyone has the right to own property alone as well as in association with others.  (2) No one shall be arbitrarily deprived of his property.       This one I have a real problem with.  I have NOTHING that is my own.  I go to put on my new makeup and the colors are already gouged out, I try to eat dinner and someone wants a bite, I went to put my shoes on for work the other day and couldn't find them.  I looked everywhere...shame on me for not looking in the playroom where they were filled with turtles.  Of course that is where they would be!!  The article states there needs to be a fair reason to take my property away.  I hardly think stuffing my shoes with plastic animals is a fair and just reason to seize my property.  Again, I will be presenting this to the UN General Assembly.


Article 19:  Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers. Sadly, I don't have this right either.  I have tried to tell the kids I don't like their TV shows and they get all bent out of shape and throw a fit when I try to watch Anderson Cooper.  My opinion carries no weight.  That is a clear violation of article 19.


Article 23.  (1) Everyone has the right to work, to free choice of employment, to just and favorable conditions of work and to protection against unemployment.  (2) Everyone, without any discrimination, has the right to equal pay for equal work.  (3) Everyone who works has the right to just and favorable remuneration ensuring for himself and his family an existence worthy of human dignity, and supplemented, if necessary, by other means of social protection.  (4) Everyone has the right to form and to join trade unions for the protection of his interests.   This is probably the biggest violation of all.  In reference to part 1...favorable working conditions!!!  Ha-Ha...I just have to laugh at that one.  Pee, poop, vomit (both child and feline) those don't sound like favorable conditions to me!  #2..equal pay for equal work...let's see 24 hours a day x 365 days a week at $0 per hour, add in the evening and weekend differential let's do the times zero, carry the zero and you get ZERO!!!  I get paid nothing!!  I know, I know, I get paid in smiles and their sweet kisses...doesn't that warm you heart?  Yes, but I am grossly underpaid for my job performance.  I deserve cold, hard cash for all that I do around here.  I like #4 the best.  I have never been in a union but according to the Declaration I have the right to assemble so I am thinking of starting one.  UP YOURS Local 101 (Under Paid Yes! Over Used Really big Sap).  It has a nice ring to it.  I might get out the poster paint and make a sign right now.  A nice big placard that shouts out Up Yours!!  Hanging in the kitchen. I am going to be the Norma Rae of mothers!!


Article 24:  Everyone has the right to rest and leisure, including reasonable limitation of working hours and periodic holidays with pay.  Reasonable limitation of working hours?  Let's see I clock in 15 solid waking hours with the girls.  Plus I am on call for the 9 hours they are asleep.  If they have a night terror or pee the bed I am called in.  This is 7 days a week.  My rest and leisure is the 2 hours I am allotted for my Thursday night grocery shopping.  Not sure that really qualifies...I try to catch Anderson Cooper every afternoon but that is inevitably interrupted for a poopy diaper or an emergency snack.  I think interrupting the Silver Fox is the grossest violation of my Human Rights that I can document.


Article 25:  (2) Motherhood and childhood are entitled to special care and assistance.   This is my favorite right of all!  Many years ago a huge group of people from around the world came together to set forth a set of rights that every human being has and that everyone else should respect.  So to my family you need to treat me with special care and assistance.  Not because I say so, but because the whole world says so!!!


That is the defense I am mounting for being on strike.  I think I have a pretty good case, I am anticipating the General Assembly would side with me.  I believe that moms should be a protected class and that there are crimes against humanity occurring in homes around the world on a daily basis.  It stops here.  Moms if you are with me join my newly formed union and shout from the rooftops  to anyone that will listen we aren't going to take it any more...UP YOURS!!!



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