Sunday, April 22, 2012

Mommy Confessions...Part II

I had a conversation with a fellow mommy yesterday.  We were talking about how hard being a parent really is.  Being a good parent that is.  Harder than you ever imagine.  It is not all the Koala's and butterflies  Babies R Us lulls all pregnant women into thinking it is.  Again, don't get me wrong I love my children, I love being a mom and I think I am pretty good at it but I want to write a book about what to REALLY expect when expecting.  All the down and dirty secrets of motherhood that no one wants to talk about...not the fake Facebook postings of the AMAZING life, the AMAZING kids, AMAZING everything that so many people put out there.  Deep down they are just like the rest of us, feeling our way through motherhood, making it up as we go along and making mistakes along the way.  So this post, and this blog in general is for all the parents out there that sometimes wonder "what the hell was I thinking having kids"...and for the mom I was talking to yesterday I got your is validation that you are not alone...

1.  I don't let my kids turn the pages when I read them stories.  If they did then I could not purposely skip pages to get through the book faster.

2.  I love both my girls equally, but...sometimes depending on the day I prefer the company of one more than the other.

3.  Chuck can not wait for the rain storm to start...he is sick of playing outside with the kids.  I agree. 

4.  I don't save all the artwork they make for me.  I lie about it too.  "Hey mom where is that special picture I made for you"...oh the 37th special one today?  yeah, you must have put that one in your room...knowing full well I put it in the trash (and covered it with vegetable peels for good measure).

5.  I secretly hope that Sara stays exceptionally average and does not become exceptional with her dancing abilities.  I am not committed enough to become a dance mom.

6.  Sometimes I just throw away poopie undies.  I can't be bothered trying to rinse them out.

7.  In public I sometimes say to my misbehaving children "wait until I tell your mommy about how you are behaving..." pretending I am just the babysitter and not truly responsible for them.  A trick I learned from my sister.

8.   The other day I was in the elevator at work.  The door opened on the maternity floor and there was a happy looking group of about 8 pregnant ladies and their partners.  Obviously a birthing class.  It took all of my might to quell the unbelievable instinct I had to get off the elevator and run right through them screaming "RUN!  RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!  IT ISN'T ALL THAT IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE!!!"

I didn't do that.  I upheld the mom's club code.  Never, Ever, under any circumstance let pregnant ladies who are about to join the club know the truth!!  If we did, no one would ever willingly join the mommy club and the human race would die out.  I did my part for mankind...I gave a sweet smile and a nod, letting them live out the rest of their pregnancy in ignorant bliss.


  1. will you please write the book? #2, #3, & #7 were got the biggest chuckles!! ~lc

  2. I have to agree with u being a mom can suck. Yup not all puppy dogs and rainbows. It is so annoying to read how perfect peoples kids and there life are in fb cause we all know it is bs. Dont get me wrong being a mom can be great but mostly it just plain Sucks. If i knew then what i know now hmmm. I think u should writ the book what to really expect. Hell did u readt the girlfrienda guide to pregnancy? That was an eye opener. Oh well just keep on keepin on. I am still waiting for the parenting rewards and mibe are 12 and 14.