Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Same poop, different day

So as you know Anna occasionally shows an interest in toilet training...the other days she doesn't give a sh*t (sorry, I couldn't resist).  Anyway, today is one of the days she is on board.  So this morning she wants undies on.  No problem.  She insists on the Dora ones, which we have already established are 2 sizes too small.  No matter to her, she still wears them.  So she tells me she has to go poop and wants to sit on the toilet.  So I go in the bathroom with her and sure enough, she already crapped in her pants...the concept of telling me BEFORE she goes is still incomprehensible to her.  So I clean her up and we put the poop in the toilet and she flushes it away.  She says the requisite "bye poopy" as it is circling the drain.  Then she starts to freak out because, are you ready for this?  "The poopie misses its family".  I sh*t you not, Anna throws a good 10 minute fit because she wants the poop back so it can be with its family.  What family?  Is there something more going on here that I don't know about?  Keep in mind, this is the same girl that pooped inside of the fish tank cabinet and never thought to tell me.

So we put some clean undies back on and she goes on her way.  I do the whole every 20 minutes sitting on the potty deal...thinking the timing will work out for at least one of these potty breaks.  Oh, silly me....I should have known better.  I hear Anna calling me.  It was kind of a muffled, distant call.  I looked everywhere and finally found her standing on top of a child sized dresser that is in the girl's closet.  "I peed"  she said with such confidence and sense of joy.  So I go change her and head back to the dresser to clean up the pee.  She had a dress on and it was still dry, her undies were soaked so I was expecting a big puddle on the dresser.  NOTHING!!!  I looked and looked and could not find it.  I asked Anna and she couldn't remember where she was when she peed.  I spent 15 minutes looking for the phantom pee.  Never did find it.  I am sure I will stumble across it in the middle of the night when I am barefoot trying to break up a cat fight.

A few minutes ago Anna comes to tell me she has poop.  She has a diaper on now...I smartened up.  So she says that it is a silly poop.  That when she squishes it it feels funny.  You try it mom she says.  No thanks....well you would have thought I ripped her favorite stuffed animal in half and tossed it in the trash.  Apparently not squishing a two year old's poop when asked is the worst insult you could send their way...I will do almost anything for my kids but I draw the line at squishy their poop.

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